5 SECRETS To Turn A Simple Email Into A Pointless Meeting
Some will say it's an innate gift, others will say you can develop the skill. Either way, here are some powerful steps that you can implement right away if you want to take a simple email you could have sent your colleagues and turn it into a pointless meeting.
Have we missed any obvious ones? Send us a link to a Zoom call and let us know!
Here are the 5 secrets to turn a simple email into a pointless meeting.
1: Don't Clarify What You Need
Why take 5 minutes out of your time to sit down and have a think about what needs to get done?
Why map out the simple steps that need to happen, when you could just call another meeting?
Turning an email into a meeting needs to start with a lazy lack of clarification on your part. This is 90% of the process.
Get this right and you'll be on pointless Zoom calls for the rest of your life.
2: Disrespect Everyone's Time
Your time is the single most valuable thing in the entire universe. Every second that disappears you can never, ever get back.
Ideally it should be the most protected part of your life, but if you're serious about turning this simple email into a meeting, you first need to get yourself to a place where you could not give a flying f*ck about anyone's time at all.
And remember, you are not just wasting their time, you're wasting your time too. Which should help you get to that "Couldn't give a flying f*ck" headspace.
If you're okay with wasting your time, why can't you waste theirs?
3: Crippling Self Doubt
Another secret is to use your crippling self doubt to schedule yet another meeting that could have been an email.
It's not enough to get the work done, you must be seen getting the work done. Meetings provide the perfect platform for that.
Out of sight, out of mind. And that could be you out of a job.
4: Become a Toxic Manager
Let your own trust issues evolve into micromanaging people into an early grave.
This is crucial if you are currently forced into a work from home situation where people you would usually suffocate in the office with your presence are working remotely.
Set up another meeting, or better yet, force everyone onto a Zoom call for the entire day and if they are gone from their screens for more than 6 seconds, you can berate them via the Zoom or the phone.
5: Be Indecisive
You know what needs to be done. Everyone else knows too.
So why not write out an email clarifying what the specific tasks are. Then copy and paste that to a powerpoint presentation and delete the email.
Why let people read the mail and have a written record of tasks they need to complete, when you could just read it from a powerpoint instead?
Who needs that little bit of help setting more meetings? Send them this article.